Every Childhood is Worth Fighting For

We live in a society that is plagued with a contradiction: the desire to protect the innocence of childhood whilst also knowing, through personal experience and many other sources, that some children commit crimes. That doesn’t mean that Youth Offenders should lose our commitment and belief - quite the opposite, surely. Children who commit crimes are in a way a victim of their own crime because unless they get the help they need, their future prospects are often pretty grim.

But when you mention children and the most serious, grave offences like murder or sexual assault - yes, even rape - there is a totally different kind of shiver that goes down the spine. Our instinct is to hope that our own precious children never become a victim. Then quietly, in private, we pray to gods that some of us don’t even believe in that our child will never commit such offences. Parents who care the most are parents that hurt the most: self-blaming for the mistakes their children make. So to find out that… well… it is terrifying to even consider, isn’t it?

Sexual offences are the worst to imagine, because we don’t want to imagine our children as “sexual”. They are ingrained into our minds as that chirpy little five year old with a cheeky grin...even when they are decades older and making a nest of their own! There are few parents are willing to face up to some truly terrifying facts about why and how children get involved in crimes. And even more disturbing reasons they sometimes commit sexual crimes.

And yet even when a parent is willing to go to the scary lengths of considering one the darkest of taboos, there is another, almost entirely ultra-taboo subject that has people seething at the mere suggestion of it. You will be a social outcast even for suggesting the possibility - you might even be accused of being some kind of “paedophile sympathiser”, if you dare to broach the subject that...

...sometimes children tell LIEs.

It’s absurd to deny it, of course, because actually they lie ALL THE TIME. Stolen footballs; swearing and denying it; cheating on tests; blaming the poor dog for missing homework...the list goes on...and on. To be honest, the vast majority of children really aren’t very good at lying, and the stories usually collapse under the tiniest bit of pressure, or some poor judgement on their part.

Lying about abuse or sexual assault... The collar is feeling tighter now; the sweat is forming on your brow. It’s a taboo that few dare to delve into. But denying it is very dangerous because children always have a reason to lie - and if they tell the darkest lies, it can well be for the darkest reason. So to deny such lies happen actually endangers children who might be suffering much darker truths in the shadows you have forgotten - or refused - to check. (Self-blaming again?)

There are already a number of charities and organisations supporting victims of false allegations and they struggle to get public support because society assumes they are trying to fight in opposition to (genuine) victims of abuse. But nothing could be further from the Truth. Most of the people who contact organisations like FACT, FASO, PAFAA, and so on are parents, foster carers, teachers, carers, doctors, nurses, sports coaches, scouts leaders (etc. etc, etc.) ...and various people who commit their lives to the protection of children and vulnerable people. In fact, it is often because they give so much of their time to those groups that they are at much greater risk from suffering a false allegation. One in four teachers will be falsely accused in some way in their career. And if we turn ALL of them into social pariahs even before they have had a fair hearing, their careers are ruined whether they even go to trial or not.

(Have you ever noticed how the government bemoans teacher “shortages” and recruitment but fails to touch on teacher retention or the reasons teachers leave the profession?)

And yet the image people have in their heads, thanks to media hype and damned rhetoric, is of a tiny little blonde, eight year old girl as a victim - the sweetest thing; how could SHE ever tell a lie? And a sweaty, over-coat wearing weirdo with a penchant for hanging around the school gates. Two stereotypes that do us no good in protecting anyone’s innocence, let alone that of a child. Most false allegations, even if originating from a child’s statement, are perpetrated by adults who either facilitate, exacerbate, or even originate (especially in cases of Parental Alienation) the story for their own purposes*.

False allegations get out of hand because we have operated for many years under the absurd notion that an allegation of sexual crime MUST BE BELIEVED and must not be tested or questioned. In order to do that you have to ignore the basic premise of our legal system that the accused is “innocent until proven guilty”.

Then we use the pseudo-intellectual justification that there is “no smoke without fire” - something which I discussed with a colleague many moons ago (Click HERE). But still we insist that an accusation would only EVER happen if there was a “good reason”. We refuse to accept that sometimes children tell lies. Maybe in a moment of anger, or in a quick or desperate act to deflect attention from their own wrongdoing. Maybe even out of fear.

So the blanket-rule of “believing all allegations” (especially in sexual crimes;, and even more so if the claimant is female - yes I really did say THAT) we have a policy that ignores the presumption of innocence, defies the letter of our laws, and seems worrying content with the “collateral damage” it leaves behind.

And people have personally experienced a false allegation themselves, or via a family member or friend...the overwhelming majority choose the easy ignorance over a difficult taboo.

Until one day the police come knocking on your door. They have come to arrest your child - your precious, innocent child, who is himself still naive about the world, has sexually assaulted someone. In fact, they have sexually assaulted another child.

And...children don’t lie. Right?

That “victim” will receive the best of care and support.

Your child will be treated as a criminal.

The “victim” will be interviewed carefully by the police, following “Achieving Best Evidence (ABE)” guidelines.

Your child will be questioned under caution…

...after sensitive and fully trained, specialist officers will carefully ask the “victim” questions in a nice, warm, comforting, sofa-filled room.

Your child will be interrogated in the same interview rooms where they tear strips of adult drug dealers, murderers...and rapists.

The “victim” will be reassured that they are believed and have done nothing wrong.

Your child will be treated like a criminal and told about all the inconsistencies in their account.

Your child: the sex offender; the rapist; the predator.

Your child, who simply MUST be a liar, because the “victim” must be believed. Right?

There are children and young people who suffer significant failures in justice, finding themselves getting entangled in its unforgiving claws by misfortune of bad luck...or by the malice of false allegations. Some of these children and young people don’t even have parents or families to rely on - no mother to whom they can turn and see that unconditional love they need at the hardest time. Some who are even more vulnerable due to disability, special needs, or mental health issues.

How many? We don’t know, because at the moment no-one has dug deep enough, or even dared hard enough to pick up the spade, or knock on enough doors, or write enough letters, or ask enough challenging questions.

So that is why we are here: Protecting Children’s Justice. We don’t have all the answers...but we have a very large list of big questions...and no-one is considered too big to be facing them.

“Every Childhood is worth fighting for”

NSPCC

* We really should differentiate allegations between “false” as committed with malicious intent, and “wrong” as mistaken or inaccurate/misinformed accounts given in good faith. PCJ absolutely stands by the belief that all concerns for safety of any child should be reported.

#Justice #Law #Children #Childhood #NSPCC #FalseAllegations #Police